compilation

Dec 31 2010

Kid Speak (2010)

Writing down Lucy’s sayings: just another in a long list of things I wish I’d thought about doing sooner. I get a kick out of much of the stuff the kid talks about. In 2010 I started jotting her words down and inserting them at the top of my blog posts. I even gave them their own tag, “kidspeak“, so that I could keep track of them.

Some of the things she talks about, like comparing how fast she runs to a butterfly chasing a necklace in the wind, I just find very inventive. But then again, I’m her Dad, so I realize I might be a little biased!

So, here’s a smattering of Lucyspeak from the past year:

December, 2010:

“Lucy (w/ blanket and dolly): “Here, put tiny special (Lucy’s favorite blanket) on her.”
Daddy: “You should. You’re her mommy.”
Lucy: “But you’re her daddy!”
— Playing, assigning parental duties

“You’re a toot and toots don’t follow!”
— Lucy sharing an observation

“You look like a freak with your tongue outside your mouth!”
— Lucy sharing another observation

Lucy: “You’re the freak!”
Mommy: “You’re the freak.”
Lucy: “You’re the freak!”
Mommy: “You’re the freak.”
(repeat)
— A loving conversation between mother and daughter

“You smell nice. You smell like meatballs!”
— Lucy compliments her mommy

Lucy (referring to her new dolly): “Let’s put my baby in the highchair.”
Daddy (stalling, angling for a dolly break): “Let’s wait until your baby wakes up before we put her in the high chair.”
Lucy (too fast for her dad already): “Just as you said that she’s wide awake, laughing with joy!”
— Lucy nips her dad’s attempt to sidestep dolly playtime

“Stop….I see the jewelry collection!”
—  Lucy, seated in a shopping cart, as we pass by the Costco jewelery cases

“You throw yourself in the diaper champ and in the garbage truck with all the dirty diapers!”
— Lucy telling me how she really feels

“I was very fast, like a butterfly with his wings flapping trying to catch a necklace blowing in the wind!”
— Lucy, describing how fast she can run

“Play with the baby while I’m gone because she’s real you know!”
— Lucy providing me with instructions on taking care of her baby doll

“I don’t understand why he keeps eating stuff off the floor!”
— Lucy commenting on Wubie’s eating habits

I am watching you Daddy, with interest”
— Lucy, looking over my shoulder as I work on a home project

“Wubie’s a dirty poodle!”
- Lucy, after hearing my comment about playing “dirty pool” with Wubie when I deposited him outside the bedroom and shut the door

“I’m introducing Daddy to manners.”
— Lucy, successful in convincing her daddy to share his chocolate chocolate chip ice cream

“Share it with someone you love, Daddy!”
— Lucy, spoon in hand, approaches her ice cream-eating Daddy

“Wubie put on his nighttime pants with sardine sausages and I put on a pretty dress. And the dress had lots of balls of kittens!”
— The kid adding to our usual “Lucy and Wubie” bedtime story

Daddy (from kitchen): “Hi, kid.”
Lucy (sniffing air): “Hi.” (excitedly) “Did you make fried rice w/ bacon?”
Daddy: “No, but I made chicken. Would you like some?”
Lucy: (disappointed) “Yes, if it isn’t weird chicken!”
— A conversation with the kid

“On the first day of no christmas today, my true love gave to me, 11 clacky dancers, 2 screaming Wuberts, 5 ladybugs, two hedgehogs, and a partridge in a pear tree.”
— Lucy’s version of 12 Days of Christmas

November, 2010:

“Sometimes the squirrels wake up and throw nuts at us. Those sneaky squirrels!”
— A conversation w/ Lucy while walking to the mailbox

“Ha! Wheels are faster than feet, Daddy!”
— Lucy’s words as she races by me in a shopping cart being pushed by her mommy

“Pants I don’t think is good for a child.”
— Lucy’s reasoning for not wearing pants

“I am the best girl and I am a special girl, the most special girl in the whole wide world, the whole wide world!”
— A confident Lucy singing a song

Daddy: “Bundle, you know that Mommy and Daddy love you very much, right?”
Lucy: “Yeah, but sometimes you get mad at me and I don’t like that.”
Daddy: “Sorry. Let me know the next time it happens, OK?”
Lucy: “OK.”
— Lucy telling me it how it is

Lucy: “I don’t want to have a birthday!”
Mom: “Why?”
Lucy: “I’m afraid it might be at night and I’ll be tired!”
— A conversation with Lucy once we pushed the clock back an hour and it started getting dark a lot earlier

“Don’t recommend things, Mommy!”
— Lucy doesn’t want to hear it right now

“He’s smoking!”
— Lucy, while pointing at a stranger w/ a cigarette

“Grajulations!”
— Lucy, holding a “Congratulations!” helium balloon, congratulating me for completing my test

“Spider-Legs, Spider-Legs, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Legs.”
— Lucy singing the Spider-Man cartoon theme song

“I draw snails easily!”
— Lucy just stating the facts

“You’re a big fat hot dog!”
— An agitated Lucy

Daddy: “What’s the name of your store?”
Lucy: “Umm (long pause)…Costco!”
— Playing “shopkeeper” with the kid

“You have to go, Daddy. I’m about to close.”
— Lucy, putting an end to “playing shopkeeper” for the night

October, 2010:

“I’m the pretty princess. As soon as I go to sleep I’ll be the sleeping beauty!”
— Lucy’s take on Lucy

“Daddy, I like jewelery. It’s very sparkly!”
— Lucy at the store

Lucy: “That’s not fair! That’s not my goal!”
Mommy: “Was your goal to have ice cream but no hair-combing?”
Lucy: “Yes.”
— a conversation with a goal-oriented toddler

“What are you doing? This is the BUNDLE CENTER, so get out of my way!”
— Lucy, telling her Daddy to move (he was blocking her toy area)

Mommy: “I like your new hairdo.”
Daddy: “Thanks.”
Lucy: “Yeah, it looks like a cat…or a camel!”
— A family conversation

“Now you need to wash your hands. And by washing your hands, I don’t mean licking them. I mean actually going to the sink and using soap and water.”
— Lucy’s mom, sidestepping a Lucy loophole during a pre-lunch negotiation

“Yes, he is annoying because he doesn’t wake up at 9 or 10 or 11 or 12!”
— Lucy commenting on Wubert’s early morning breakfast demands

“I’m a little girl and he’s not a gentleman so he’s not my little baby!”
— Lucy explaining why Wubie can’t be one of her “babies” (like her dollies)

“Hey look at this—a tall Wubie with a smile!”
“That’s Wubie at night playing baseball! That’s his window, and his treehouse, and his bat, and his baseball!”
— Lucy explaining her latest drawings of Wubert

Daddy: “You know, you don’t have to use all your trains at once.”
Lucy: “Yes, all the trains have to be used at once in the world we live in.”
— a conversation w/ Lucy while playing w/ her train set

“Great job, my little man!”
— Lucy congratulating Wubie on a successful trip to the litterbox

Daddy: “It’s the weekend, kid—what do you want to do?”
Lucy: “Maybe we can go to french fry town and then the park!”
Daddy: “And visit Gma too, and see her garden!”
Lucy: “Yes, and we can go to her garden and see if there are any snails that need a snail race!”
— sorting out weekend plans with Lucy

“Dooooah! It’s faking me out again!”
— Lucy expressing frustration while drawing

“Wheeee! Speed Bundle!”
— Lucy while riding her bike

September, 2010:

Lucy: “When I’m 60 I get an allowance?”
Daddy: “Sure, if you can find me!”
— a conversation w/ Lucy

Daddy: “Wubie’s back fuzz feels a little crispy.
Mommy: “That’s probably where he got washed.”
Lucy: “…And he got ironed!”
— after a trip to the vet

Mommy: “We can’t open this until Christmas!”
Lucy: “It’s Christmas right now!”
— Lucy on Sept 20, 2010

Lucy: “I put on some moistutrizer so that I’m pretty.”
Dad: “Oh, you always look pretty.”
Lucy: “Yeah, but now I look super-pretty!”
— a conversation w/ a 3.5 year-old

“Teen Dentists — LET’S GO!”
— Lucy singing along to the Teen Titans theme by Puffy Ami Yumi

Mommy: “Did you see that? Bundle pushed her water bottle off the table!”
Daddy: (from the kitchen, joking) “Bundle did that? I don’t believe it”
Lucy: “No, but I did!”
— A conversation at the dinner table

“See you later bug! Have fun down the drain!”
— Lucy trash-talking a bug as it’s banished from the house

“I’m a new dolly!”
— Lucy, after washing her feet

“Oh, I love…everything!”
— Lucy in the morning (she actually meant to say, “I love shakes!” but had a momentary loss of words)

“I don’t want to get my fashions wet!”
— Lucy at the swimming pool

“I’ve got loads and loads of selections of money Daddy! But it’s your money!”
— Lucy’s logic for why we can go out

Lucy: “Wubie wears a brown dress.”
Dad: “What does he do in his brown dress?”
Lucy: “Walks around like a cat.”
— a conversation with Lucy

“Someday I’ll be four!”
– the first words out of Lucy’s mouth one morning

“Poopy old man!”
– Lucy talking to Wubie

“I feel refreshed and ready for anything now!”
– Lucy after pretending to nap for a few seconds

“Let’s make one side of the floor rainbowy colors, because girls like rainbows!”
– Lucy throws out marketing ideas while creating a “store” with her blocks

“Tell me a story Daddy, but keep your eyes open so I can see them!”
- Lucy getting her sleepy dad to tell her a story

August, 2010:

“They are having catfood soup, carrotcakes, ice cream tea, and cheesy muffins. And they’re having vanilla cookies because a girl is coming over, and a girl can’t eat catfood!”
“And now the animals have changed up the menu to a different style. Because now they are having marshmallows and vanilla ice cream and grape sandwiches. And honey cereal. They changed the menu now, Dad!”
— Lucy explaining her dolls’ and stuffed animals’ lunch menu

Lucy: (yelling) “Aaaaaaaah, YOGURT!”
Mom: “You’re screaming at your yogurt cup?”
Lucy: (calmly) “Yes, it won’t open.”
— another conversation overheard at the dinner table

“I have to go pee before I go to school because the other kids don’t want their lunchboxes wet.”
— Lucy’s bathroom break reasoning (she and her mom play “schooltime” in the morning)

“Sometimes fyashyights get yost. They fall awound stuff.”
— Lucy explaining how household flashlights go missing
(“Sometimes flashlights get lost. They fall around stuff”)

“There’s something brown in the town.”
— Lucy spots Wubie in the kitchen

“Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rice“
— Lucy’s version of Sing a Song of Sixpence

“You look fancy!”
— Lucy commenting on my attire as I leave for work (I’d decided to wear a sport coat)

“I’m a princess who doesn’t need a crown.”
— Lucy, after much deliberation (and misplacing her tiara) adds a new princess rule

“I’m going to put stickers on it so they know that Bundle, the greatest helper in the world, likes to put stickers on things!”
— Lucy, explaining the thinking behind plastering something with kitty cat decals

“I’m a sardine cartoon!”
— Lucy acting silly at the kitchen table

“Here’s my house
With furniture and a mouse”
— Lucy singing as she plays with her dollhouse

“Shhh…I’m baking.”
— Lucy, while making banana bread with her mom (and wearing apron and chef’s hat)

“Welcome to bundle’s
The place to be
when the cats are barfing

Welcome to bundle’s
Washing away the barf
Cleaning up the barf

Welcome to bundle’s
When the cat barfs up!

Welcome to bundle’s
Where mommy gets it on her hands!”
— Lucy improvising a song while her Mom cleans up after a sick Wubert

LUCY: “WAAAAUGH! Wubie bit me!”
MOM: “Let me see that. Oh, I think he broke the skin!”…(continues to inspect the ‘wound’)…“Unless that’s just dirt.”
LUCY: “I think that’s just dirt.”
— Conversation overheard following the latest cat vs grubby kid confrontation

“I can dance beautifully—and that’s why I’m a cool ballerina.”
– Lucy, describing her dancing style

“Some of the ballerinas are nighttime ballerinas and some of the ballerinas are cat-toy ballerinas and some of the ballerinas are friendly ballerinas. I’m a princess ballerina.”
– Lucy, explaining the various types of ballerinas

“What are you doing here, Wubie? Screwdrivers are not for cats!”
– Lucy, instructing Wubie to stay away as she tries fixing the fridge handle

July, 2010:

“Hey, stop calling me Lucan! Call yourself Lucan!”
— Lucy’s rebuttal upon being compared to a 70s TV character

“Wubie crushed my wand — no magic show for him!”
— Lucy’s response after she waved her ‘magic wand’ (stick with a ribbon) in front of Wubie one too many times (he destroyed it)

“Phalaenopsis, phalaenopsis…pretty flower, pretty flower… “(to the tune of Frère Jacques)
— Lucy’s song after visiting the orchid farm

Lucy: “Tell me a pretend story about how Wubie doesn’t like Christmas lights and it’s Christmas.”
Jill: “Does Wubert get a present?”
Lucy: “Yes, a catnip mouse…but he doesn’t like it!”
Jill: “What would he rather have?”
Lucy: “A sardine sandwich!”
Jill: “OK. Wubert gets a sardine sandwich. Did he get a present for you?”
Lucy: “Yeah, a poop! Yeecch!”
— A conversation overheard in the car

“Nice hairdo, Daddy!”
— The kid smiling (after I’d made an effort to look less unkempt). When I asked if she was making fun of me, she said without hesitation: “Yes!”

“Let’s do it again, she said.”
— The kid acting as her own narrator

“We’re going to make a pumpkin pie. It’s going to be very tasty. Why don’t you have some when you are done with work? It’s going to be very tasty!”
— The kid, upon waking from a dream she had where she’d been baking

“Wubie drove me to the cupcake stand and picked out which cupcakes I wanted.”
— Lucy at the breakfast table that same morning

“The trains are not racing. They’re crumbling—and it’s very frustrating!”
— Lucy, when her toy trains were being uncooperative yesterday morning

“That’s Wubie, flowers, bunnies—and me, your little child.”
— when referring to my Father’s Day card

“The bug on the windshield is crying”
— an observation while riding in the car

“Let’s walk over here Daddy, away from that obnoxious noise!”
— when coming across some city workers breaking up the sidewalk

“Let’s watch something bundley!”
— when requesting some TV time

June, 2010:

Mom: It smells like poop
Kid: Maybe Wubie pooped.
Mom: Did you poop?
Kid: Did you poop?
— Another heartfelt Mommy/Daughter conversation

January, 2010:

“Who lives down in deepest, darkets apricots — apricots.”
— The kid substitutes ‘Apricots’ for ‘Africa’ while singing the Kimba the White Lion song

By mike • by Mike, The Kid, Time Capsule • 2 • Tags: compilation, kidspeak